Backwards

Its been two weeks since the fall semester ended.  I have had time to reflect on the semester and how it changed me.  You know how you often hear people say that something is the hardest thing they have ever done?  I have heard others say that and then done what they did and never found the task to be that difficult.  But this semester was by far the hardest thing I have ever done.  

It was hard academically, thanks to Greek.  I have never been so mesmerized by something so difficult.  Thankfully, God provided the most gifted professor for our Greek class.  Dr. Jay is more of a coach who gives many half-time speeches to remind us that we can do this.  And his analogies about Greek grammar revolve around football, Betty Crocker, and Gene Autry - and none of those things are bad!  

It was hard spiritually, thanks to me.  I have often heard of how seminary can parch one's faith.  That is what happened to me this semester.  God became an assignment - and when I was done with my assignments I was done with God.  I lost my personal adventure with the person of Jesus Christ and replaced it with theology and Greek paradigms.  At the opening of the semester, I sensed that God was enrolling me in an elective class on relying on Him.  Sadly, I failed that class this semester - and I think it was the most important one of the bunch.  

But challenge has a way of bringing growth.  I learned about Almighty God this semester.  I learned to let Greek have its effect and teach me self-discipline, precision, and delay gratification - all traits one needs to thrive in ministry.  I made a number of very close friends, who have infused this journey with great joy and meaning.  I realized that the New Testament was written in a specific time and place, and that learning about that time and place can more clearly illuminate God's word.  I discovered that the Pharisees of the New Testament are not the enemy and that most evangelicals (including myself) have strong Pharisaic tendencies.  I was challenged to be exclusive in my doctrine and inclusive in my relationships - though I admit I'll be aiming for that for, oh, the rest of my life.  My biggest lesson though was that I cannot do life and follow Christ by myself.  I must rely on God or I will fail.  Worse yet, I might succeed on my own and find that success meaningless and empty.  

Over the last five months, life has happened.  Much of it has been good, some of it has been just plain hard.  But our Almighty God has been faithful in the midst of it - even when I was most unfaithful.  And it is His kindness that draws the wanderer back.  For knowing Him and following Him on this good, hard adventure I am deeply grateful.